I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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