I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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