D3 body, D1 cock
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
