So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
