I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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