im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sorry my hands just texted you
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize