This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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