Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
