I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize