so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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