Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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