butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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