you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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