Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
