bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize