somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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