i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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