all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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