Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
