Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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