Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
