Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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