I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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