sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
