Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think i have two assholes
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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