Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think your dad took our porno
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
