I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize