Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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