You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
