I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
