On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
