For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
