with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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