I wish I only lived at night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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