Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize