That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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