Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
