I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can I color on your dick again?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
