so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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