i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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