that's an acceptable place to lick
The best revenge is premature balding
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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