He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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