are you still at the devil's house?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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