so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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