This is not my ceiling
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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