WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
