Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
