I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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