I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
