you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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