You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
