I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
