Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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