I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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