....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
