Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize