I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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