We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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