You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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