4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
