I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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