I'm sorry my penis didn't work
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Two words: blizzard sex
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
