I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
