i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
