If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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