watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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