We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
