bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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