I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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