And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
